Gettin' Friendly
Lately, I've been reading An Army At Dawn by Rick Atkinson. It's an exceptionally well-written account (even won the Pulitzer) of the US Army in North Africa. One of the things that Atkinson touches on is cultural preparation for American GIs in North Africa - ie: what to expect, and how to deal with it. One of the most prominent parts of the training is this: if you see two guys walking down the street, holding hands, they are not, I repeat, are not, gay. They're merely friends showing friendship.
Coming from America, where I've always felt we're way too uptight about physical touching - especially between male friends - this has been a not-too-difficult adjustment for me. Just now, as Youssef (a different one than Youssef 1/2) was showing me some new english software he got for the internet cafe here in the office, he put his arm on my back. It wasn't creepy, sexual, or anything with suspicious intent, it was merely a way to show that we're friends and that we're close. When I cross the street to go to lunch, it's not uncommon for Kamal to grab my hand, and even back at the apartment we've managed to tone down some of the squeamishness if somebody puts their arm around you.
This even extends to the French practice of kissing on the cheek - which is very common here in Morocco, even among men. You don't normally (of course, there are always exceptions) plant a big wet sloppy kiss on somebody's cheek, it's more of either an air-kiss or a little peck. Obviously, this contrasts strongly with the American high-five, or distant handshake (maybe a hand on the shoulder if you've known the guy ten years...).
While I understand and remain very sensitive of inappropriateness - especially in regards to male/female goings-on - this has honestly been a breath of fresh air. It's not that I've discovered a heretofore unknown side of myself, ahem, but more that things are just more comfortable this way. You have friends, you have warm relationships with them, and there is touching or kissing on the cheek, but there's nothing about it that's sexual or inappropriate.
Coming from America, where I've always felt we're way too uptight about physical touching - especially between male friends - this has been a not-too-difficult adjustment for me. Just now, as Youssef (a different one than Youssef 1/2) was showing me some new english software he got for the internet cafe here in the office, he put his arm on my back. It wasn't creepy, sexual, or anything with suspicious intent, it was merely a way to show that we're friends and that we're close. When I cross the street to go to lunch, it's not uncommon for Kamal to grab my hand, and even back at the apartment we've managed to tone down some of the squeamishness if somebody puts their arm around you.
This even extends to the French practice of kissing on the cheek - which is very common here in Morocco, even among men. You don't normally (of course, there are always exceptions) plant a big wet sloppy kiss on somebody's cheek, it's more of either an air-kiss or a little peck. Obviously, this contrasts strongly with the American high-five, or distant handshake (maybe a hand on the shoulder if you've known the guy ten years...).
While I understand and remain very sensitive of inappropriateness - especially in regards to male/female goings-on - this has honestly been a breath of fresh air. It's not that I've discovered a heretofore unknown side of myself, ahem, but more that things are just more comfortable this way. You have friends, you have warm relationships with them, and there is touching or kissing on the cheek, but there's nothing about it that's sexual or inappropriate.
posted by Isaac at 5:27 AM
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